The Dreaded School Email
Have you gotten the dreaded email home from school?
In my work with parents and kids, these emails are often a source of anxiety and stress for many reasons.
Many emails are sent home with a blurb or “your child did x,y,z today,” with minimal solutions or resolution included.
For parents: it can spark feelings of shame, embarrassment, and anxiety related to how their child is showing up in the world. Which can be a reflection of our parenting.
For kids: it can cause further feelings of anger, resentment, and upsetedness, among others.
As a therapist and parent coach, here is my suggestion for when this happens:
BEFORE YOU OPEN THE EMAIL: take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are a good parent
When you open the email, read it and take time to process your own emotions and thoughts around it.
Have a conversation with your child about the email and the incident that is mentioned in the email - establish your boundaries for appropriate behavior during this time and move on.
If the teacher did not provide any solution, that’s okay. They are busy managing the behaviors of 20+ other kids and likely just want you to be aware. You can ask the teacher if there is anything they tried, or anything specific that you can do as the parent that would be helpful going forward.
I will always advocate that (most) behaviors should be addressed in the setting they occur. School behaviors are addressed at school, home behaviors at home, bus behaviors on the bus. Cross-over can lead to increased tension between parents, teachers, and the child.
What do you struggle with most when it comes to your school-age kids? Comment on this post and let’s chat more about these stressful experiences.
~In (parenting) solidarity, Ryanne
